The Death of Ms. Alice Zimmer

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.

Subject: The Sudden and Unexpected Death of Ms. Alice Zimmer

The Pimlico League of Educated Ladies would like to inform the Moorgate Institute of Classical Female Elders of the demise of Ms. Alice Zimmer who, after a protracted illness, finally succumbed to lightning strike whilst playing golf at the highest point on Hampstead Heath.

The deceased will, at her own request, be burned on a floating pyre in the lake in Green Park with full Viking honours.

I should perhaps warn you, however, that there is currently some debate within our group as to the validity of the term “of sound mind and body” since the will then goes on to request the rubbing down of at least five of our group with goose grease, followed by their performing a synchronised swimming spectacular around the burning pyre.

Perhaps the most vehement complaint, however, came from Miss Whitfield who was requested – by name – to throw herself on the pyre after lighting.

However, as I have said before, duty is duty.

Apart from extending an invite to attend said pyrotechnic display, we were wondering how everything was going over in Moorgate?

MBC Jodrell-Bentley (Madam)

Words of Wisdom

We are always the same age inside.

— Gertrude Stein

Top Tip!

  • Frugal Teatimes

    Ms Anjina has reminded us of another thrifty tip when entertaining: keep old teabags and reuse them when guests come round. (She herself is still re-using a free PG Tips sample from 1987 for her increasingly infrequent visitors.)