The Confusion Begins
To:Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject:Some Recent Success
I feel sure that all my members will join with me and extend their condolences to your League on the news of your current ill health. We shall doubtless experience a similar effect in due course since we are even now celebrating the dual successes of not only extricating Miss Twigham from the latrine but also sending her on a fact-finding mission to the Outer Hebrides.
To be fair, her send-off was almost marred by some slight tension when our Treasurer, with discernible malice, refused Miss Twigham’s request for thermal garments and instead handed her a bucket, spade and swimming costume. Miss Twigham was, however, sensible of her poor standing in the society – not to mention Miss Totteridge’s blunderbuss – and for once gave no complaint.
It was, we all considered, a satisfactory end to a most distressing episode (all except Miss Totteridge, that is, who’d purchased the nails especially).
Our last meeting was much enjoyed by all our members and, despite some of us feeling the pinch of the tonic wine shortage, it was felt to be rather a success. I, for one, feel that we should meet again soon – and perhaps next time we should take our cue from that happy group of gentlemen on the opposite table and try inhaling sherbet to keep our energy levels up.
Perhaps your ladies have some suggestions for suitable venues and occasions?
Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.