Featured Tip
Wardrobe Malfunctions
Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.
Random Tips
Preventing Streaking
White vinegar is a very effective way of preventing streaking when washing glassware. When trying to prevent streaking from elderly exhibitionists, however, we recommend white wine. And lots of it.
Caring for Convalescents
Ms. Walthorpe advises that – in line with government thinking – the bed-bound are perfect targets for austerity measures. Leftovers are ideal food, since the patient will appreciate anything you provide for them. And, she says, the less frequently you provide, the more grateful they become.
Reducing the Food Bill
Mrs Saxon offers some excellent advice for people on a budget: “it is always worthwhile rummaging through food bins at major supermarkets. There is a treasure trove of food to be found, as well as the occasional rat.”
Alternative Medicine
Miss Havelock considers that as far as alternative medicines go, Gin is most efficacious as a local anaesthetic and sterilising agent when taken internally. If applied in sufficient quantity you won’t feel a thing for hours (or, for the adventurous, the whole of 1974).
Dealing with Stray Cats
Miss Flaubert recommends Vicks Vapo-rub for keeping cats out of your garden. As long as you’re careful the creeping tom will merely be stunned by the jar, but not permanently damaged (thus avoiding any complications with the Bow Street runners).