Featured Tip

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.

 

Random Tips

Negotiated Congress

Ms Zimmer has offered us some advice regarding negotiated congress which, although she is amply qualified, we have had to decline since her qualifications expired some time ago. (Indeed, due to the Trade Descriptions Act she now has to offer the promise of “a horrible time”.)

Health Warning

The current condition of Miss Barleycombe reminds us of some advice that should serve future generations well: do not drink Dettol.

Reducing the Food Bill

Mrs Saxon offers some excellent advice for people on a budget: “it is always worthwhile rummaging through food bins at major supermarkets. There is a treasure trove of food to be found, as well as the occasional rat.”

Christmas Shopping

Mrs Broadhurst reminds us that charity shops can be a treasure trove when present shopping. Semi-soiled nightwear, Jackie Collins books with the smut inked out, records of traditional Scots music… all have their fans!

A Fundraising Tip

In these straitened times, always remember there’s probably someone on the internet prepared to buy a second-hand pair of pants which have perished at the gusset.

Words of Wisdom

Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.

— Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Top Tip!

  • Reducing the Food Bill

    Mrs Saxon offers some excellent advice for people on a budget: “it is always worthwhile rummaging through food bins at major supermarkets. There is a treasure trove of food to be found, as well as the occasional rat.”