Featured Tip
Wardrobe Malfunctions
Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.
Random Tips
Health Warning
The current condition of Miss Barleycombe reminds us of some advice that should serve future generations well: do not drink Dettol.
Caring for Convalescents
Ms. Walthorpe advises that – in line with government thinking – the bed-bound are perfect targets for austerity measures. Leftovers are ideal food, since the patient will appreciate anything you provide for them. And, she says, the less frequently you provide, the more grateful they become.
Negotiated Congress
Ms Zimmer has offered us some advice regarding negotiated congress which, although she is amply qualified, we have had to decline since her qualifications expired some time ago. (Indeed, due to the Trade Descriptions Act she now has to offer the promise of “a horrible time”.)
Preventing Streaking
White vinegar is a very effective way of preventing streaking when washing glassware. When trying to prevent streaking from elderly exhibitionists, however, we recommend white wine. And lots of it.
Frugal Teatimes
Ms Anjina has reminded us of another thrifty tip when entertaining: keep old teabags and reuse them when guests come round. (She herself is still re-using a free PG Tips sample from 1987 for her increasingly infrequent visitors.)