Miss Twigham’s Famous Roadkill Ravioli

Ingredients

  • A “quantity” of roadkill
  • Miscellaneous Hedgerow Berries/Fruits (Preferably Non-poisonous)
  • Pancakes

Method

First, fold together the roadkill and the hedgerow fruits. It is generally best at this point to pick out anything moving, and also check for any obvious tarmac (since it is not to everyone’s taste).

Spoon the mixture into the pancakes with a spoon or, if handy, the original shovel.

Fold the pancakes over and bake in the oven for 20 mins about 190C.

Serve to local children as mincemeat pancakes.

Do not discuss the contents with the police.

Additional Notes

Whilst it is hard to believe that a fully-grown llama would be out on the Balls Pond Road late at night (or indeed would commit suicide by stepping in front of a Thundersley going at full-pelt) it was generally conceded that the meat was particularly tender and suited to this recipe.

Gorilla, however, we could not recommend. Not least since it appeared on the menu shortly after that nice young man on the delicatessen counter in Asda vanished without trace.

Words of Wisdom

Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.

— Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight

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