Up the Junction!

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: Difficult Times

Bathsheba,

It was, I must confess, something of a trial – especially given the unexpected cold snap.

I think Transport for London were most gracious considering. Apparently there already had been concerns about the safety of the erection round the station, something which Miss Twigham only proved when she started to swing on it.

I suppose I should be grateful that her actions were caused merely out of boredom and not spite, but I somehow find it less comforting than I probably should.

Considering the circumstances I must say I was rather pleased with my idea to send Ms. Havelock for my car. Having watched her down three flasks of mulled wine on her own I was certain she would prove a useful distraction, and the minute she was pursued we were able to contrive to get you all out again.

I do think the Chief Constable rather took his life into his hands when he called Ms. Zimmer “a rancid old harpy” mind you. I  understand that he was suffering from undue stress but he usually manages to maintain a certain decorum under the most difficult of circumstances.

I suppose he could be forgiven a slight lapse on this occasion however.

Ms. Zimmer’s constant references to the royal are confusing aren’t they? I’ve had a good thumb and the only royal connection to that area I can find is the name of one of the roads: King William Street.

But I hardly think she could hardly be under there, do you?

Words of Wisdom

Growing old is compulsory; growing up is optional.

— Bob Monkhouse

Top Tip!

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