Up the Junction!

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: Once More Toward the Fray!

Bats,

Of course we will be glad to offer our services. It is probably just as well that Borough station is undergoing refurbishment at present as any damage caused by this raid on the property will simply be plastered over in due course or put down to shoddy workmanship.

I am concerned, however, that getting Aunt Enid out at that station may prove somewhat tricky – but we shall have to make do.

I shall naturally bring flasks of mulled wine to keep out the chill (and a bottle of whisky for Ms. Havelock) and a few other sundry refreshments.

Since I imagine that Miss Barleycomb will be providing any required distractions, I shall also bring along a supply of sedatives for those unlucky enough to receive her attentions. Not to mention one of my particularly efficacious poultices.

I dread to think what state Aunt Enid will be in after all this time. She’s been down there for a good couple of weeks now and peanuts can’t be in plentiful supply down there.

I think perhaps we should assemble over the road from the station at around 1:00. If that’s not agreeable then please do let me know – I am obviously expecting a rather late night and so feel it wise to have a little nap first to ready myself.

Words of Wisdom

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

— Dorothy Parker

Top Tip!

  • Wardrobe Malfunctions

    Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.