Up the Junction!
To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject: Unpleasant Possibilities
Dearest Batty,
I must say that for myself I tend to avoid tube travel wherever possible since our excursion to Europe. One of the disturbances we suffered was a minor fracas on the Berlin U-Bahn where Mrs Schmidt (whose accent and zeal had become increasingly pronounced) finally became overcome with high spirits at the joy of “returning to the fatherland”.
Quite how she managed to smuggle so much snow onto the train I have no idea, let alone how she gained access to the driver’s compartment. Thankfully, however, we managed to alleviate his frostbite relatively quickly (during which process we were able to demonstrate quite conclusively that he wasn’t Jewish) but I’m sure you can appreciate that the experience has left me ill-inclined to spend time in confined spaces with any but my most trusted members.
I fear Aunt Enid’s choice of movements may indeed have been influenced by the close proximity to several interchanges. I for one am glad that no-one I know is in the habit of taking the tunnel between Monument and Bank: the journey is perilous enough as it is without invalid carriages careering around you.
There is of course a distinct possibility that she chose to change for the Waterloo and City Line. It may only be a short stretch – and as such would certainly not hold her interest for long – but since I gather its nickname is “the drain” one can obviously imagine why she would feel drawn to that area.
Clammy.