Up the Junction!

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe

Subject: The Calm Before the Storm

My Dearest Clammy,

Thank you for your support in these troubled times.

Enid has always been one of those wandering spirits who was never happy where she was and, sadly, like her niece, usually resolves to make everyone else hate it just as much – or indeed change the whole nature of her location.

Ms. Zimmer still appears to be in a state of shock and is attempting to locate her using spiritual aids, mainly large quantities of personal distillate, some of which has also been used to dehydrate rodents.

Needless to say, the alcohol quantities are terrifying to consider and have left her in a state of incapacity. All she keeps muttering is “under the royal a darkness lurks” which is less helpful than one would have hoped (though possibly still more than one would have expected).

All I think we can do is wait for disaster to strike. I have been told that South Kensington Station has been almost destroyed and there are sightings of a beast with glowing eyes all along the District Line to Monument, and claims it chased several hundred commuters down the tunnel.

Unfortunately that has resulted in several options for her changing lines and, although many of the lines from that station are disrupted as a matter of course, she most likely changed there for the Northern Line.

Ms Hawksby and several of the more able ladies are currently searching the extent of the Northern line and some have set up permanent stations at major interchanges to try and prevent her changing lines again.

Ms. Zimmer has awakened and appears somewhat agitated so I must away to try and calm her down before the cruet suffers again.

Please reassure your ladies that all will be well but they may be well advised to travel by bus for the time being.

Bats.

Words of Wisdom

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

— Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

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