Tiramisu, Aadvocat and Hecate

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: RE: Festive Celebrations?

Batty,

I had been wondering myself about how to dispose of Miss Twigham for the evening. The events of last new year – when she combined a box of Catherine Wheels and some industrial paraffin to devastating effect – even now occasionally cause me to wake in a cold sweat.

Thankfully since then she has generally restricted herself to drinking the stuff, which is a blessing. Although I do get a bit jumpy if someone offers her a cigarette.

It seems however, that she has played into my hands this time and managed to trap herself in the office safe whilst trying to steal a crate of homemade rhubarb wine.

The effect of the pneumatic drill we had to employ to release her – not to mention the wine she consumed – have rendered unto her a “stinking great migraine” as she put it, and she has retired to her sick bed for a few days.

All in all I consider it a most successful recipe. Even if she does occasionally blast the duvet from the bed.

Eleven PM sounds ideal for my similarly nocturnal ladies. I shall meet you outside Borough Market then.


I hesitate to ask, but will Ms Zimmer be joining us?

Clammy.

Words of Wisdom

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

— Jennifer Yane

Top Tip!

  • An Urgent Word of Warning

    The pending cases against Miss Totteridge remind us that, due to the enactment of various homicide acts, it is categorically not legal to shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow on a Sunday in any city.