Tiramisu, Aadvocat and Hecate

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: RE: Festive Celebrations?

Batty!

Please accept my condolences on Miss Burbage’s passing. Although I must say I am surprised that she lasted as long as she did. Certainly she was never the same since she fell into that Mash Tun during that tour of the Scottish Distilleries with Miss Havelock.

(I was very impressed at her fortitude, incidentally. I understand several people tried to assist in her escape, but that she fought them off bravely.)

I myself have been somewhat busy with the fallout from our most recent social engagement. Mrs Pattrick recently invited a few of us round to her house for a dinner party and I’m afraid the Tiramisu was not entirely friendly to one and all. Carlotta, of course, apologised but I do feel that her claim that “the secret ingredient was love” more explains the desiccated countenance of Mr. Pattrick than it does her culinary skills.

Anyway, I do feel we could chance a festive meeting. I remember our last attempt in 83 was rather marred by the incident with the mince pies, which turned out to have been dusted with Thallium rather than icing sugar. (I still suspect Miss Lidster who – even to this day – will insist on referring to it as an “admirable succession powder”.)

As to a venue, Miss Bleakly keeps harping on about a Slug and Lettuce. I am assuming she is suggesting that in these straightened times this may be a suitably cheap option.

It’s either that or the vegetarianism enforced on her by Miss Chiles is causing her to seek other sources of protein.

Yours,

Clammy.

Words of Wisdom

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

— Dorothy Parker

Top Tip!

  • Stained Steel

    Baby oil is excellent for cleaning brushed stainless steel. However it is not advisable to squeeze it from your neighbours’ babies. Instead choose one from a few streets away so no suspicion falls on you.