Tiramisu, Aadvocat and Hecate

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe

Subject: RE: Festive Celebrations?

You need not fear about Ms Zimmer. She has already informed me that she will be serving some time “At Her Majesty’s Pleasure” over the New Year.

Needless to say I have generally ceased expressing any kind of curiosity over her frequent stints ‘inside’, I fear, however, it may be related to the recent emergency evacuation of High Holborn. This, you may recall, involved panicked hordes fleeing the area, clawing at their eyes.

Given that her topless samples have been known to affect the public in a remarkably similar fashion, and that she recently had a sunroof installed in the Thundersley, I worry she may have performed some ‘high speed advertising’.

With that in mind I have to say a period of incarceration is not only deserved, but certainly desired. But one can only hope not to see her on a prison roof, again, waving her bloomers while dressed as a distended “Wonder Woman” and protesting at the lack of a dungeon.

I look forward to seeing you for the celebrations.

Batty.

Words of Wisdom

Every silver lining has a cloud.

— Rob Morris

Top Tip!

  • Christmas Shopping

    Mrs Broadhurst reminds us that charity shops can be a treasure trove when present shopping. Semi-soiled nightwear, Jackie Collins books with the smut inked out, records of traditional Scots music… all have their fans!