The Kerb-Crawling of Ms. Alice Zimmer

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.

Subject: Old Habits Die Hard.

Dearest Chlamydia

I’m afraid that Ms. Zimmer still harks back to days when the purpose of our group was quite different. If you remember the cat was originally an absent-minded “part payment”, the poor thing. But what with all the recent problems its predicament has not been at the forefront of my mind.

As for Miss Mountjoy, I will confess that a number of my ladies have complained that when they come in close proximity to her for any period of time they need to take iron tablets to counteract the anaemia.

All things considered I think the poor old thing should be put down if nothing else can be done. (The cat that is, not Miss Mountjoy!)

Yours, as ever

Bats

Words of Wisdom

Growing old is compulsory; growing up is optional.

— Bob Monkhouse

Top Tip!

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