The Kerb-Crawling of Ms. Alice Zimmer

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: One might well ask.

Batty,

Thankfully, although there were several instances of ectoplasm forming above the middle of the table – and Miss Mountjoy has agreed to stay home if her sinuses play up again – none of them were manifesting any signs of the dreaded purple busby.

The cat, thankfully, is  in much the same state as before and has returned to the hipbath none the worse for the experience. I am also glad to say the smell of ammonium is now almost imperceptible and so it may soon be time for him to return to the Chief Constable. (Miss Mountjoy, of course, will be sorry to see him go since the initial acrid stench was one of the few things to penetrate her nasal passages in a good few years.)

You will be pleased to know that the preparations for the holiday are well in hand here. Obviously, since Ms. Zimmer is bringing some Sterident I have persuaded our local not to serve Miss Twigham with any more tile adhesive for the next few months. Better to be safe than sorry!

I must say that despite it all, I am looking forward to next month’s trip with gay abandon. I am sure the Mile End Road will present us with no undue problems.

Yours,

Clamisole

Words of Wisdom

Every silver lining has a cloud.

— Rob Morris

Top Tip!

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