The Kerb-Crawling of Ms. Alice Zimmer
To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.
Subject: No need for concern.
Dear Chlamydia
Respect comes highly recommended from young Mrs Jackman. She said that her great nephew travelled to Gran Canaria with them and he said it opened up a whole new world to him – indeed, apparently he’s been far gayer than he ever was before!
It’s a slightly early start on the National Express, unfortunately, but needs must. I admit that I was surprised to discover we’ll have to wait on the Mile End Road at half past three in the morning, but it does make the journey substantially cheaper.
As to Ms. Zimmer’s packing, she is obviously taking the Thundersley and its mentally fragile occupant as that is, in some ways, the whole point of the trip. Otherwise I think she’s packing the usual: Sanatogen, Sterident and some shapeless, colourless smocks.
Regarding the spiritualist, how is the cat? Quite how it managed to get caught there is something that mystifies me entirely. As to the second Cleopatra, you say she had a Newcastle accent. Did she express a nasal whine between words and was she wearing a purple busby?
It might explain a lot…
Yours
Bathsheba