The Hackney Marsh Debacle of 2002
To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe
Subject: The Affair in the Park
My dear Sarah
I have passed your message on to Ms. Zimmer and she has agreed that in relation to the basket incident she would, to use an unfortunate phrase, let the matter drop.
I personally think it unnecessary to dwell further on this matter since the event was otherwise a great success. Indeed I believe that it has so far this year caused the fewest injuries of all. We must, however, remind our volleyball-playing members of the importance of good foundation garments (several of our ladies are quite elderly and the constant bounce did reduce some to near-liquid states).
I agree it is probably time that bygones were bygones and it will be a particular pleasure to see you – and of course I would be delighted to assist. I have already consulted with my map and it seems but a leisurely country stroll for us all.
Should any attendees have difficulty with the route Ms. Zimmer has offered us space on her Thundersley. Ms. Roberts has offered – in an unusually generous spirit, I feel – to bring along her portable stereogram to play some gentle, classical music, and I myself have been flicking my Marguerite Patten to find suitable party food. (Needless to say there will be a lot of spam.)
I have also been contacted by the Dutch Ladies Cycling Association, the Lancashire Women’s Gymnastic Team and the Hammer-Hurling Society of East Tring, all of whom have expressed considerable interest in attending.
Yours,
Bathsheba.