The Hackney Marsh Debacle of 2002
To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.
Subject: Possible Foreign Jaunt?
I’m afraid to say it is I putting about the rumour of the Hamburg trip. Ms. Zimmer is investigating the idea of taking a mini-cruise to Hamburg for her Aunt Enid to see where her Thundersley Invacar was invented. It does seem that she has turned over a new leaf of late. One can’t help but wonder how long it will last.
As to my arm, well… an unfortunate episode if ever there was one. As you know, though I am not by nature diabetic, I am borderline hypoglycaemic and always have to keep some chocolate raisins about my person – even though I obviously have to steer well clear of Miss Twigham.
Since on this occasion I was running a little low, I determined upon a brief sojourn to the rear of the “Candy Bar” tent – an ideal locale for the fingering of sweet treats one would have thought. However, the back of the tent was very dark and I ended up dropping my raisins and whilst trying to grope around for them I was rather taken aback when something bit me really quite fiercely.
One can only assume it was lying on the carpet and I put my hand right in its mouth. Within moments it commenced snarling and growling and, of course, I pulled it straight out but in the course of things I seem to have rather bruised my wrist. As I made my escape a woman’s voice started voicing the most unpleasant utterances in my direction so I can only assume it had caused the dog some distress. Nonetheless I rapidly made my escape.
I do honestly feel it was likely one of the most disturbing experiences I’ve ever had – even considering the secretion of the key during that time in Turkey. (Do you know, I never found it?)
So, would you and your party be interested in attending the Hamburg event?
Yours, forever,
Batty.