The Death of Ms. Alice Zimmer
To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.
Subject: An Urgent Cancellation
Regarding our previous missive to yourselves I am afraid that I must inform you that Ms. Zimmer has once again proved to be possessed of indomitable – not to mention alcoholic – spirit and despite all our support in the matter has somewhat selfishly proven to be alive.
It transpires that the doctor who examined her was extremely reluctant to come into prolonged contact with the body and, as a result, he unsurprisingly failed to diagnose a heartbeat from what it now appears was an enlarged gall bladder.
Suffice it to say that Ms. Zimmer is in – and I use the word advisedly – extremely rude health and seems more than happy for the burning and wake to take place without her (although Miss Whitfield is not at all enthralled at the prospect).
Personally I am more concerned by the bap wastage. A number of members, myself included, had spent some considerable time spreading them with a large quantity of Cookeen.
So it is with heavy heart I retract my invite to the wake, but do promise that should events change we will certainly proceed as planned. I assume however that our trip to the Sanatorium on Saturday may still go ahead despite these unfortunate proceedings?
Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley.