Spring Awakening

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe

Subject: Suggestions

My dear Clammy,

Our success cupboard is, without doubt, somewhat sparsely stocked. However, with a stretch, there are some meetings which could be regarded in a somewhat positive light.

If nothing else, the following did not result in the expiry of any of our members:

  • The trip to Hastings, 1974
  • The trip to Hastings, 1989
  • The talk by Brian Sewell on pre-Raphaelites in Carry on Films. (I only count this as a success since none of our members were casualties, although I confess I haven’t seen him around much since.)
  • The Competitive Bakeathon, 2009.
  • The Cross-Channel powered hang-gliding race, 2013.

I do try, however, not to dwell too much on our Hastings visits. Whilst 1989 was a particularly good outing, the events the following year were quite damaging for all concerned – and by that I am not just including our members, but also the council staff, emergency services and, of course, the pier itself. (The mayor’s cover story of “storm damage” was a master-stroke, but I note that the structure’s future is still in doubt.)

Were I a less up-beat person those circumstances could easily flatten my bravado. However I take much pleasure in wresting light from the jaws of darkness – not to mention, very shortly, the hostess trolley from the jaws of Ms Linden.

Yours,

Batty.

Words of Wisdom

The cure to boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

— Dorothy Parker

Top Tip!

  • Negotiated Congress

    Ms Zimmer has offered us some advice regarding negotiated congress which, although she is amply qualified, we have had to decline since her qualifications expired some time ago. (Indeed, due to the Trade Descriptions Act she now has to offer the promise of “a horrible time”.)