Spring Awakening
To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject: RE: Is all well?
Dearest Batty,
I must confess to having spent the last day or so wracking my brains in an attempt to arrive at a suitable theme. Despite the joy our gatherings seem to bring many members, there always seems to be something of a shadow cast over them – what with the various infections, mortalities or damages that occur.
In fact, on that very, note I had a particularly trying meeting with our insurers last week. I hope you don’t mind, but I did end up threatening them with a visit from Ms Zimmer if they didn’t keep next year’s premium in line with the current tithe. (I felt quite bad in the end – the poor man went alabaster white and his signature was decidedly shaky.)
Regarding the other matter: a lack of involvement from Aunt Enid is certainly to be encouraged. I still remember the terrifying moment she found that imported shipment of Unicum and, suitably over-fuelled, attempted to recreate Robert Powell’s scene on the clock-face of Big Ben, bending one of the hands irreparably.
(Now I think about it I was never informed as to how she managed to get past the guards – one can only assume she breathed on them.)
If you yourself have any ideas as to possible “successes” we could celebrate at this august event, I would be glad to hear of them. We are rather running out of time!
Yours,
Clammy.