Spring Awakening

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe

Subject: RE: Is all well?

Dearest Clams,

I think that would be a wise precaution after the casualties caused by last year’s “Greek Saga” theme. At the last count I think these totalled four ladies encased in concrete by Ms Zimmer as “Medusa”; several nasty bites by Mrs Pugh as “Cerberus” and the mysterious disappearance of Mrs Brazier. (And for that matter the Cerce’s Hog Roast was disgusting and exceedingly tough.)

I think a celebration of the two groups successes would be a better focus for this year’s festivities. Something joyful and up-lifting, perhaps?

Ms Zimmer has informed me that she may not be able to make the event on time due to “family issues”. I confess I am not unduly worried by this absence, however, as it undoubtedly involves Aunt Enid and I have found that particular person can be at her most trying when the sap is rising.

Yours my darling,

Batty.

Words of Wisdom

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

— Lucille Ball

Top Tip!

  • Health Warning

    The current condition of Miss Barleycombe reminds us of some advice that should serve future generations well: do not drink Dettol.