Spring Awakening

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe

Subject: RE: Is all well?

Dearest Clams,

I think that would be a wise precaution after the casualties caused by last year’s “Greek Saga” theme. At the last count I think these totalled four ladies encased in concrete by Ms Zimmer as “Medusa”; several nasty bites by Mrs Pugh as “Cerberus” and the mysterious disappearance of Mrs Brazier. (And for that matter the Cerce’s Hog Roast was disgusting and exceedingly tough.)

I think a celebration of the two groups successes would be a better focus for this year’s festivities. Something joyful and up-lifting, perhaps?

Ms Zimmer has informed me that she may not be able to make the event on time due to “family issues”. I confess I am not unduly worried by this absence, however, as it undoubtedly involves Aunt Enid and I have found that particular person can be at her most trying when the sap is rising.

Yours my darling,

Batty.

Words of Wisdom

Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.

— Terry Pratchett, I Shall Wear Midnight

Top Tip!

  • An Urgent Word of Warning

    The pending cases against Miss Totteridge remind us that, due to the enactment of various homicide acts, it is categorically not legal to shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow on a Sunday in any city.