Spring Awakening

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe

Subject: RE: Is all well?

Dearest Clams,

I’m afraid Miss Hoxton was almost entirely evaporated, and in addition many of our crepe-loving ladies were badly scorched. In fact we are still dealing with the resultant frizz and have a team of hairdressers hard at work even now.

However, on the upside, the fused remains of Miss Hoxton have been much admired by the art world and might make an unusual table centrepiece.

Regarding the spring celebration, I am reminded that we may need to also cater for our “old girls” who for various reasons of infirmity, narcolepsy and retention can’t make it to our usual sessions. If the weather is good we normally arrange a picnic in the spring, providing a soft (not to mention absorbent) surface as well as removing most tempting and dangerous weapons from reach.

Since your compound is considered secure and you have access to a large garden I wondered if we could combine these events and aim for a picnic there?

(As a side note, last year we had to ban trifle as it turns out to be surprisingly smothering.)

Bats.

Words of Wisdom

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.

— Winston Churchill

Top Tip!

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