Spring Awakening

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: RE: Suggestions

Dearest Bats,

With regards to Ms Linden, perhaps a more permanent dental adhesive could be procured before our festivities? Her tendency to slip her dentures out and wave them at passers-by is bad enough, but with her tendency to mislay them and try to appropriate others’ in their stead I feel something must be done. Three of my ladies have now had their dental plates quite ruined by whatever it is Miss Linden’s saliva apparently contains.

I think any attempt at a theme is doomed to failure, so we should just gather our ladies together with the promise of good wine, good food and good drainage. I shall also have sniffer dogs on hand in case Miss Twigham manages to get hold of any sherbet.

I look forward to seeing you on Tuesday.

Clammy.

Words of Wisdom

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

— Dorothy Parker

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