Muffins, Museums and Marijuana
To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject: Apologies.
I feel I must write and check how you are after Thursday’s events. We rather lost track of each other in the chaos following Miss Jackman’s fit and, whilst I remember seeing you briefly by the blue whale, I was at the time in pursuit of Miss Twigham and the Dodo so I was unable to give you my full attention.
Fortunately on our arrival in the Dinosaur section Miss Twigham became interested in acquiring a wishbone so I was able to relieve her of the poor bird.
In any case I do feel that Miss Heathlicott was given a most fascinating, sociable and, as it proved to be, final day out. I did see her looking somewhat peaky during the meal, but merely assumed she had been overcome from the fumes from Ms. Havelock’s Vodka Jelly. I was also somewhat pre-occupied with the escalation of the Zimmer / Twigham battle from food to cutlery – thank heavens we were able to use the jelly to sterilise the wounds!
The coroners’ report suggests that Miss Heathlicott had actually died an hour or so earlier, but it was only when Ms. Zimmer used the cadaver to prop up the Tyrannosaurus skeleton that I realised she was markedly stiffer than normal (not to mention that Miss Twigham had succeeded in her aim).
It transpires that all Miss Heathlicott’s movements after her demise were largely due to force of habit.
Incidentally, I wonder if you could pass on my thanks to Miss Hawksby? As you are aware some of my ladies are alarmingly regular and it was only with her help I managed to find enough cubicles to house the afflicted before the emptying commenced. (I think in future we should end all supervised visits prior to four o’clock and let them sort it for themselves.)
Regrettably I was unable to be present for the departure since I was awaiting the undertakers and notifying relations. I gather however that there was some unpleasantness in the subway at South Kensington? I have endeavoured to determine what precisely occurred but my ladies are not forthcoming.
In fact one of them just sits and cries.