Firestorm Over Europe

To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley

Subject: Hello?

Bathsheba!

I am now extremely concerned. Are you injured in some way? Where are you?

This is all proving to be most trying without you. I am about to go and be interviewed by the local authorities with regards to last night’s events. Apparently Miss Twigham was under the influence of something called “Liquid Gold” and hadn’t realised “Murder on the Dancefloor” is a song, not an instruction.

Thank heavens I’d managed to obtain the flagpole or she could have done some serious damage.

Yours concernedly,

Chlamydia.

Words of Wisdom

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too.

— Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

Top Tip!

  • An Urgent Word of Warning

    The pending cases against Miss Totteridge remind us that, due to the enactment of various homicide acts, it is categorically not legal to shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow on a Sunday in any city.