Firestorm Over Europe

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.

Subject: Poo!

My lovely luvvely Calmidima

You know I’ve always appprreeceated your frendchip lots and lots and lots. The cake here is reallly goood and everyones so niccce and and and sweet thow the cake is reealy nice. Im having fun here and I love you soow mucccch and Ive got to go back and ill rite soon and all. Miss Twigham is a cow and I hate herrrrr, there al;l bitches and I love youuu

Battybatttybatty

Words of Wisdom

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

— Dorothy Parker

Top Tip!

  • Stained Steel

    Baby oil is excellent for cleaning brushed stainless steel. However it is not advisable to squeeze it from your neighbours’ babies. Instead choose one from a few streets away so no suspicion falls on you.