Firestorm Over Europe

To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.

Subject: Poo!

My lovely luvvely Calmidima

You know I’ve always appprreeceated your frendchip lots and lots and lots. The cake here is reallly goood and everyones so niccce and and and sweet thow the cake is reealy nice. Im having fun here and I love you soow mucccch and Ive got to go back and ill rite soon and all. Miss Twigham is a cow and I hate herrrrr, there al;l bitches and I love youuu

Battybatttybatty

Words of Wisdom

On Being Old. It’s not nice but take comfort that you won’t stay that way for ever.

— J. P. Donleavy

Top Tip!

  • Frugal Teatimes

    Ms Anjina has reminded us of another thrifty tip when entertaining: keep old teabags and reuse them when guests come round. (She herself is still re-using a free PG Tips sample from 1987 for her increasingly infrequent visitors.)