Aunt Enid and the Thundersley
To: Marjorie Bathsheba Catheter Jodrell-Bentley
Subject: An Unnerving Circumstance
I regret to inform you that events have lead to us impounding the invalid car of the variably cadaverous Ms. Zimmer.
Confusion surrounding the mortal status of your member may have lead to an oversight by whoever parked her car whilst the embalmers were round on Thursday. The result of this was that the vehicle, unimpeded by small matters such as brakes and a curiously sharp bend, rolled down Winston Drive at four o’clock this morning.
As you are aware, another resident of this charming street is Miss Twigham, who lives at the opposite end of the hill. However while Miss Twigham is away it was decided that Greta Havelock would take care of the property.
At around the time in question, as she was investigating the disappearance of various spirits from Miss Twigham’s private supply, Ms. Havelock was disturbed to find the vehicle had rolled down the road, entered the garden and started bumping into the front door.
Regretfully Ms. Havelock’s reaction to this, especially following the sinister evaporation of a large amount of Glenmorangie, was somewhat hysterical and it took some time (not to mention brandy) to calm her down.
Therefore can I ask if one of your members could retrieve the offending vehicle and possibly have its electricals looked over? It keeps switching itself on and heading towards the northbound lane of the M1.
Obviously we have kept the vehicle in good condition, and have tried to do the same for its contents, although one cannot help but feel the Tottenham Court Road tube sign should be returned to London Transport.
The chicken and the length of chalk have, I regret to say, both seen better days.
Yours hopefully,
Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe.