Five a Day

June 17, 2012

Many members are concerned they are not getting enough greens in their diet due to soaring vegetable prices. Miss Trubshawe, however, suggests they simply turn off their all-electric refrigeration cabinet. Given enough time, she assures us, everything inside the device will become green.

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Words of Wisdom

Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.

— Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Top Tip!

  • Stained Steel

    Baby oil is excellent for cleaning brushed stainless steel. However it is not advisable to squeeze it from your neighbours’ babies. Instead choose one from a few streets away so no suspicion falls on you.