Tiramisu, Aadvocat and Hecate
To: Sarah-Jane Chlamydia Rossington-Smythe
Subject: Festive Celebrations?
My dearest Chlamydia,
I must apologise for my recent lack of communication. As I’m sure you are aware, Ms Zimmer’s present of a monkey’s paw to Ms Burbage for her ninety-seventh birthday resulted in yet another thinning of our ranks and some rather heavy paperwork.
To be brutally honest, I fail to comprehend how said item came to be contaminated with Ebola virus given that it was nothing more than a hand-carved wooden spoon with fake fur glued on. Nonetheless the resulting organ failure at the celebration lunch was quite conclusive.
However, now that the dust has settled I was wondering if you’d like to participate in our Hogmanay celebrations? Given that the festive season is upon us I was thinking that perhaps a smaller gathering of our lonelier and more isolated members may be a charitable use of our time.
Now, obviously I am aware that occasions such as this in the past have resulted in surges of rivalry and indeed violence brought on by the Aadvocat and Hecate. In this case, however, I am hoping we can keep the event low key and ensure the lack of availability of the more paganistic members like Miss Gregson and that awful Juno Baker.
If you have any ideas of an appropriate venue I’d be grateful as it seems our recent preferred hostelry is being turned back into a bank. (Miss Zimmer has dutifully salted the earth – or at least I assume it was salt.)
Yours eternally
Bats!