Taurus

April 12, 2009

There is much activity in your sign this month as the warlike Mars enters Uranus, stirring things up no end. Exert some caution in your dealings – especially with venomous creatures like spiders, scorpions and gay solicitors.

Fate comes with a golden clasp on its handbag.
Luck is stuck at home doing the ironing.
Don’t Forget: that dreadlocks are most unseemly below the belt.

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Words of Wisdom

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

— Winston Churchill

Top Tip!

  • Dealing with Heavy Soiling

    To remove heavy soiling, coat the offending area with melted chocolate and inform the local children that the item is sheet chocolate. Once the chocolate has been sucked out the item should be clean and can be washed as normal.