Minor Update
Tips and Tricks has a minor update to its layout. And some new tips have been added!
Five a Day
Many members are concerned they are not getting enough greens in their diet due to soaring vegetable prices. Miss Trubshawe, however, suggests they simply turn off their all-electric refrigeration cabinet. Given enough time, she assures us, everything inside the device will become green.
Wardrobe Malfunctions
Recent casualties have brought to our attention that users of the “Wilberforce Patent Double-Gusset and Splashback” should remember said items are perishable and should be regularly replaced in order to avoid whiplash.
Caring for Convalescents
Ms. Walthorpe advises that – in line with government thinking – the bed-bound are perfect targets for austerity measures. Leftovers are ideal food, since the patient will appreciate anything you provide for them. And, she says, the less frequently you provide, the more grateful they become.
Caring for Pets
With regards to selecting a suitable pet for the home we are reminded of the case of Miss Philby who was a great animal lover and whom animals loved in return. Sadly, after her death only her trick knee, a false eye and some very well-fed animals could be found. Our advice is to steer clear of anything larger than a goldfish.
The Joy of Drip-Drying
In clement weather, peg your laundry on the clothes-line rather than using the electric dryer. Drip-drying in this fashion will not only save money but also saves wear on clothes, towels, sheets and – it transpires – poodles.
Denture Fitting
We have had to remind our members that it is not only bad form, but also unwise to appropriate dentures belonging to others. As Miss Radcliffe so tragically discovered, a correct fit is essential since loose devices can lead to accidental tonsillectomy.
Preventing Streaking
White vinegar is a very effective way of preventing streaking when washing glassware. When trying to prevent streaking from elderly exhibitionists, however, we recommend white wine. And lots of it.